How to Survive Without Toilet Paper
Toilet paper. We all need it but rarely picture life without it – until it’s, well, gone!
If you’ve ever experienced that dreadful moment when you finish going to the bathroom only to find the last person didn’t refill the roll, then you know the struggle.
However, when times get tough, whether it be financially or economically, toilet paper is still a necessity we use on a daily basis. So, when push comes to shove, what’s the alternative?
Believe it or not, there are plenty of toilet paper alternatives out there (some more conventional than others…) that you’ll want to know about in case “you know what” hits the fan.
Why Use Toilet Paper Alternatives?
Before we dig into all the amazing and somewhat gross alternatives to toilet paper, let’s talk about why on earth you would need to consider using anything else in the first place.
It’s safe to say the pandemic taught us a lesson or two. Most of us didn’t pay any mind to running out of toilet paper until it was practically nonexistent on store shelves. This unsettling sight woke people up to a world where the comforts of life were hard to come by.
Aside from the realities of production problems, there are other reasons why traditional toilet paper may not be an option – that being financial hardship.
Economic downturns and job loss are not out of the realm of possibilities, so being frugal and saving as much money as possible when things are tight is smart. Cutting back in as many areas as possible may be the only way to stay afloat.
There are also many people out there who choose not to buy traditional toilet paper options simply because they want to invest in a more sustainable, eco-friendly option, which in the end, not only helps the planet but your wallet, too.
Finally, even if you don’t plan on using toilet paper alternatives right now, it’s wise to prep for the future in case of some crazy event.
Alternatives to Toilet Paper
So, what are some alternatives to toilet paper? While we could list off things like oysters or clam shells (yes, this is an option invented by Native Americans…), we’ve decided to keep the list tight and realistic. Because let’s be honest, who wants to scrape their butt with a shell.
Bidet
First on the list, which we can thank the French for, is a bidet.
Bidets can come in many forms. However, a traditional bidet looks like a separate toilet bowl next to your regular toilet. Other options can include a hose attachment or an add-on sprayer in addition to your standard toilet.
What’s not to love about a bidet? It’s economical, it’s better for your butt (less irritation), and it probably gets the job done much better than a wadded-up piece of paper.
Reusable Toilet Paper
Okay, before you pass on this option, hear us out! We’re not talking about reusing actual toilet paper but using cloths or fabric pieces and rewashing them. This can be old rags, professionally made toilet paper cloths, “untowels,” and more.
This looks like having a basket by your toilet with pre-folded swatches ready to go. Then, once they’ve been used, you put them in a wet-dry bag and rewash them as needed. Not that gross, huh?
If cloth diapers are a thing, why can’t reusable toilet paper be?
Sponges
If you thought the first two options were weird, then brace yourself. Next up is sponges.
Interestingly, Ancient Romans were fond of using sponges from the sea to clean their behinds. Now that we have a slew of colored sponges on the market, why not designate one for everyone in the fam?
Wash them up with a bit of soap and water, and you’re good to go. Just be sure not to put them in your dishwasher…
Coffee Filters
Your morning cup of joe already leaves you running to the bathroom, so why not bring the coffee filters in with you?
In all seriousness, this is an affordable option for toilet paper when times get hard. It’s probably not a good idea to flush coffee filters down the toilet, so investing in a secure, smell-proof trash can (think diaper pails) may be smart.
This is also a great option to put in your emergency to-go bag.
Leaves and Bark
Following suit with our ancestors, why not use nature when nature calls? Yes, good old leaves and bark are an option. Albeit, there are specific leaves and bark you’ll want to use, so you don’t make matters worse.
Leaves: stick to large, thick, and smooth.
Aster
Butterbur
Broadleaf Plantain
Cottonwood
Dock Leaves
Hazel leaves
Magnolia
Maple
Moss
Mullein
Red Mulberry
Thimbleberry Leaves
Wooly Lamb’s Ear
Bark: stick to soft and smooth.
Aspen
Beech
Birch
Desert Ironwood
Eucalyptus trees
Plane
Snow
Speaking of nature – snow is also a slightly painful but interesting option during the winter months. Open your window, scoop up a handful of snow, and voila! You can even flush it down the toilet when you’re done. Talk about a win-win.
Other Not-So-Conventional Toilet Paper Options
We’ve listed some realistic options you can use as toilet paper when you’re in a pinch, but there are many other alternatives out there.
Here are some more in case you’re interested:
Cardboard
Corn Husks
Cotton Balls
Grass
Newspaper/Catalogs
Rocks
Water Bottle (Bidet Alternative)
Your Hands and Water
What Are Your Thoughts on Toilet Paper Alternatives?
As you can see, there are many different reasons, along with options, for not using toilet paper – some being intentional and others out of desperation.
Regardless of your decision to find other toilet paper alternatives, know that it can be done, and you can survive without it if need be!
And remember, even if you choose a shell to wipe your bottom, it will still be cleaner than using nothing at all.
So, tell us, what is your preferred toilet paper option if you had to choose? Do you currently use any of these alternatives? And if you’ve ever used something not on this list, feel free to give us a laugh and write it in the comments.